1,001 Ways To Fuck With A Retard

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1001. Call them and represent yourself as the "Flu" or "Influenza" virus...thus scaring the retard which in turn provokes a cry out for help; with curses like "Shoo, shoo no retarded flu".  Watch

987. Trick the retard into arguing with an automated answering machine.  Watch

900. Insert the original retard into a situation where he interacts with another retard.  Crack beverage.  Repeat and enjoy.  Watch

#2  Gary the Retard

834. Do not ever, and I stress EVER, give them what they want.  Watch

750. Put the retard to the test by playing "Are You Smarter Than A Caribou".  There's no plot twist.  The retard will lose this match-up 10 of 10 times.  Watch

715. Spelling bee.  Watch

567. Have him call his own phone and leave a voice-mail.  Call the retard back immediately and play him the voice-mail he just left himself 5 minutes ago.  This will confuse the retard into thinking he is having his identity stolen.  Watch

480. Ask them to do favors for you which are light years above and beyond what they are capable of doing.  Watch

401. Cry in front of the retard and see how it goes.  Watch

220. When asked a question, in the response replace words with heavy breathing and only heavy breathing.  Watch

125. Direct the retard to into a situation where he must hear the voice of the late Billy Mays and respond.  Accomplish this any way you can.  No rules on this one.  Watch

60. Are you even the real retard?  Watch

18. Rain down rude insensitive comments on said "retard".  Watch

4. Use them as ammunition and attack Danny Bonaduce.  Watch

2. Karaoke. Big crowd. Extreme retardation mixed with an over-indulgence of alcohol.  Black Eyed Peas.  Lets get retard.  Enough said.  Watch

1.  Spend a good part of a day.  I'm talking like 4 straight hours...doing any thing and everything in your power to keep the retard on the phone.  It just keeps getting better and better and better.  Watch

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Stay tuned for Part 3 of "Beetlejuice and the Top 25 Wack Packers":   Jeff the Drunk

Maxim's Hot 100 2011

Maxim's Hot 100 issue just came to my roomates' house today and I wasted NO TIME getting into that sum bitch. SPOILER: Rose Hutington-Whiteley (Megan Fox's replacemend for Transformers 3 get the number 1. Chicks hotter than sin, and frankly: I'm okay with the number one selection. Now, mind you everyone has their own opinions and tastes; but I feel like there were a few overrated and underrated smokes in here. Had Wild Steve had veto power for this issue there woulda been some rearranging and bumping. So just for shits and gigs (and since you know you don't have much else to do, which is why you're here in the first place) here's the Wild Steve overrated, underrated and snubbed.

OVERRATED:

79. JWoww: I'm currently having second thought about this one once I started googling pics of her to post, but 79 might be just a bit too high for this bitch. Yeah shes got a set of hammers on her and she's really cleaned up since the first season at Seaside. But you've seen Jenny in the morning, you've seen her cry, you've seen her blacked out. It just doesn't do it for me. So you can either get to the bottom of the list, stay here and get ya ass beat, or stay here and get ya ass beat!

62. Whitney Port: I seriously thought this girl was semi-retarded when I started watching The Hills. I mean not that I watched it...but.....OK fuck it I watched it a few times after Laguna Beach
ended. Girl's cross-eyed at best. Get off my list

34. Avril Lavigne: 34??!? Reverse it and add 60. She doesn't even make my list

4. Cameron Diaz: Sorry babe, your pic in the mag looks great, but any jabroni with photoshop can take 10 years off of you. Back of the line!

UNDERRATED:

91. Erin Andrews: Erin has one of the prettiest faces I've ever seen. And she looks really hot nude but good luck getting your hands on that shit ever again. Girl makes a career of talking sports and being sexy as hell. Shes just a bro trapped in a phenomenal chick body.

82. Kelly Kelly: Now, I know you guys are probably all thinking that this has a lot to do with my love of WWE, but take some time and watch this chick on Monday nights. Her body is ROCKIN! The pic in the mag is bad as fuck too, she dons the stars and bars like its nobody's business. Plus I think shes bangin The Undertaker.

67. Ciara: Do yourself a favor and watch the video for her song "Ride." Put the penis rumors to rest and move this girl up!

51. Nicole Sherzinger: Pussycat Doll frontgirl can sing, dance and shes fine as all hell. Top 20 AT LEAST!

SNUBBED:

Jessica Biel: Unlike Cameron Diaz, Jess gets better with age. One of the Gibster's top 3 girls doesn't even make the cut?? It's a damn shame.

Trish Stratus: Another Diva, but ya know what? This is my blog so fuck off. Trish has always been one of my faves, and I know she fell off the map for a while but she's back now and better than ever! Check her out on the Raw episodes in the weeks leading up to Wrestlemania and tell me you don't got a chub.

That's the WildSteve breakdown on behalf of The Coalition. Dude! I can't just sit here and blog all night I got ex-girlfriends to drunk dial!