Pet Peeves of the Month : Duck faces and Facebook Corrector Guy

Duck faces are running rampant. This has to stop. It's one thing to make a goofball face in a picture, but trying to look hot by duck-facing is a turn off. You look like you ran into a wall. The thing is, girls are doing this on the reg, without being conscious of it. It has become a standard. Men everywhere are revolted by this trend, so stop smelling your upper lip, and just stand there and look pretty.
And you, Facebook corrector guy, keep your critiques to yourself and get back to your message board argument that you have devoted your entire week to. When I'm hungover and commenting on a friend's post, I don't need my shit proofread. If I really wanted to, I could've rebuddled your criticism with shots at your inexplicable misuse of elementary school grammar and unfortunate misspelling. Especially coming from a random I don't know. Believe me, I'm petty enough to go right down the line and think to myself "it's then not than, you're not your", and "your run on sentences are making me think you didn't graduate from high school". I do, however, restrain myself and carry on living my life, knowing that no one cares what I have to say. Except for you lovely DTBC followers of course.