"58 Days it Will be Horrible"

So, for those of you who may or may not know; my Mom is sort of a gypsy. And I wish I was speaking figuratively. But she really is. Like the woman has Tarot cards and is always warning me of places that have bad "juju" and shit. A number of my friends have came to our house, where my mom has burned sage, surrounded the table with salt and read their cards. And the most bizarre part is that she's been pretty spot on. (Once our friend Beans had come by with his girlfriend and she wanted her cards read. The cards told her that she is not where she needs to be and she should re-evaluate her troubling situation. Two weeks later, she dumped him and went back to her ex bf. Which really worked out in everyone's favor because she was such a different level of a bitch that it was unbearable to have her around.)

Now imagine how terrified I get when my mom woke up at 3 AM from a dream where a voice says "58 days it will be horrible!" Guess how long ago that dream was? 56 days ago! So for those of you who cannot do the arithmetic by the time you go onto this sentence; it means this Friday at 3Am it will be Horrible! And if you're still not quite on the same level as everyone else by now; that basically says ST. Patty's night will be Horrible! Are you fucking kidding me?! The night after 90% of the people I know start drinking at 8 in the morning, it will be horrible?! This has me so shook up and nervous for tomorrow it's not even funny. I mean, horrible is a word I use sparingly to describe something. Like if you miss your flight-shitty. If your plane crashes- horrible. You wake up shitting blood- pretty bad. You get decapitated- horrible! You get my drift.

So in fear of my gypsy mom being right with her foreshadowing dream, I'm going to be extra cautious this St. Patty's day. But you better believe your bottom when day 59 comes (and no one has been decapitated) it will be Awesome! SO lets keep each other alive this weekend, eh friend?